Everyday courtesy and forms of address
You do not need much language to be polite. A handful of phrases and one habit — using a title instead of a name — covers most of it.
What it is
Politeness in Chinese leans on a few fixed phrases and on relative age. Strangers are addressed by role rather than name: 先生 (Mr), 女士 (Ms), 师傅 (master, for drivers and tradespeople), 服务员 (waiter/staff). Refusing something directly is softened; accepting is often offered twice.
Where you will meet it
- Shops, taxis and hotel desks, where the first phrase sets the tone
- Being offered food, tea or help — often more than once
- Anywhere a queue, a doorway or a lift is shared
Do
- Learn four phrases: 你好, 谢谢, 对不起, 再见 — they cover most encounters
- Call staff 服务员 or a driver 师傅 rather than waving
- Accept a second offer if you want it — the first refusal is often just politeness
- Return a small gift in kind later rather than refusing it outright
Avoid
- Using a first name with someone older or in a service role
- Reading a direct "no" as rudeness — it is usually just directness
- Assuming silence is disapproval; it is often simply reserved
Regional, family and generational variation
Northern speech tends to be more direct and louder; southern speech softer and more indirect. Big cities are used to foreign visitors and adjust quickly. Generational differences matter more than regional ones in cities: a student will happily chat in English, while a shopkeeper in a small town may have none. Personal space is smaller than in Northern Europe or North America, and standing closer is normal rather than pushy.
Words worth having
- 你好 nǐ hǎo
- hello
- 谢谢 xièxie
- thank you
- 对不起 duìbuqǐ
- sorry
- 师傅 shīfu
- driver / tradesperson
- 服务员 fúwùyuán
- waiter / service staff